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MILITARY JOKES
Laugh out loud with these great Military Jokes from service time! Click on the Star to like any jokes you find. If you think you can do better...Share it with everybody!
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The phone rang at the motor pool and an authoritative voice demanded to know how many vehicles were operational.
The Private answered, "We've got twelve trucks, ten utilities, three staff cars and that Bentley the fat-arsed Colonel swanks around in."
There was a stoney silence for a second or two.
"Do you know who you are speaking to?"
"No," said the Private.
"It is the so-called fat-arsed colonel you so insubordinately referred to."
"Well, do you know who you are talking to?"
"No," roared the colonel.
"Well thank goodness for that," said the Private slamming the phone down.
The Private answered, "We've got twelve trucks, ten utilities, three staff cars and that Bentley the fat-arsed Colonel swanks around in."
There was a stoney silence for a second or two.
"Do you know who you are speaking to?"
"No," said the Private.
"It is the so-called fat-arsed colonel you so insubordinately referred to."
"Well, do you know who you are talking to?"
"No," roared the colonel.
"Well thank goodness for that," said the Private slamming the phone down.
- Erin Johnson II
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The Pentagon once did a study on why so many American Servicemen marry women in the countries where they're stationed. Contrary to popular belief, loneliness had nothing to do with it. Once the men rotated back to the US, all their in-laws were thousands of miles away.
- Justin Kranzel
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A Navy Admiral was being court-martialed for an incident where he was found to be playfully chasing his girlfriend through the hallways of the hotel in which they were both staying. Neither of them were wearing anything.
One of the charges was that of "being out of uniform".
The Admiral's lawyer argued that the officer was not out of uniform, as the regulations read:
"A Naval officer must be at all times appropriately attired for the activity in which he is engaged."
The Admiral was acquitted, no charges!
One of the charges was that of "being out of uniform".
The Admiral's lawyer argued that the officer was not out of uniform, as the regulations read:
"A Naval officer must be at all times appropriately attired for the activity in which he is engaged."
The Admiral was acquitted, no charges!
- kelly francis
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A paratrooper was receiving orders for his first jump. His sergeant said: "When you jump out of the plane, wait ten seconds, then pull the main parachute cord. If there`s trouble with the main 'chute, pull the emergency 'chute`s cord. When you land there will be a truck there to drive you back to the base."
Off the trooper went and boarded the plane. Once he had jumped he pulled the cord for the main 'chute: It didn`t open. He then pulled the the emergency 'chute: It failed too.
Oh great! the paratrooper thought, I bet there`s no truck down there either.
Off the trooper went and boarded the plane. Once he had jumped he pulled the cord for the main 'chute: It didn`t open. He then pulled the the emergency 'chute: It failed too.
Oh great! the paratrooper thought, I bet there`s no truck down there either.
- randall
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