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MILITARY JOKES
Laugh out loud with these great Military Jokes from service time! Click on the Star to like any jokes you find. If you think you can do better...Share it with everybody!
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As we all know so well. Each of the services has it's own acronym... Funny thing is no body knew of one for the Air Force.... until now... A(ny) I(diot) R(eenlisting) For C(ivilian) E(mployment)
- Bob
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Two young Marines were wandering around the LST that was transporting them to a training mission. They stopped at a scuttlebutt (drinking fountain) for a drink. One Private turns to the other Private and said "this water tastes a little funny". The other Private says "yea, I think they use powdered water". My question was, what did they think they were going to mix the powdered water with, powdered air? It never ceased to amaze me the profound statements that would come out of the mouth of a Marine who just graduated Boot Camp.
- Ray McMillan
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the devil was lonley he won a ticket to usa he is the way he was real then at last all this life he had got spoiled by toilet papper some one made him go to the bathroom then he stepped out people said is every one okay yes but he uses toilet whats wrong with that shiiiiiiit
- joealfredlopez
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Army First Sgt retired after 30 and along with his parrot of 25 years buys a chicken range. The parrot is even more militarized than the 1SG so the 1SG tells him it's time to forget all the BS, no more 0600 bugles, no formations, nothing just takin' it easy. The first day was a long one so it was rack time early. At 0600 sharp Top was awoken by the sounds of terror and mayhem in the chichen house. Thinking a Fox got in he grabs his shotgun and away he goes. Gun at ready he throws open the door and sees a scene of total mayhem. the parrot is yelling and screaming Reveille, Reveille get outa the rack and prepare for inspection. Grabbing the parrot by the neck he says, "I told you we ain't in the Army no more so knock this shit off. Throws the parrot out and goes back to bed. Next morning 0600 hell's breaking loose, again. Throws open the door and sees all the white chickens on one side, bloody, beat up and scare sh--less. The brown chickens on the other side lined up and standin' tall. There's parrot, DI hat at a cocky angle, wings folded behind his back and screaming at the white chickens, "Awright you lunkhead I'm done with this insubordination. When I say fall out in khaki's, I MEAN FALL OUT IN KHAKIS!!!!!!!!!!!!
- Dave McQuillen
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When I joined the A.F., I was so gun ho, I wanted to apply for an "In-flight Missile Mechanic"
- Jose Hernandez, Jr.
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You can now be fined $500.00 dollar for calling an officer a "a-hole". Fifty Dollars For calling him an "a-hole" and $450.00 For disclosing classified information.
- W Norris
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Officer: Why weren't you in your camouflage this morning? Soldier: I was Sir. Officer: Guessed those seamstress did a good job
- Abby Grams
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There were a bunch of WWII draftees arriving to boot camp down south. The local madam running the brothel in the area was out to "introduce herself" to them with her girls, on the train platform when the young new inductees arrived. Their Sargent was there and she stated to him:Now sir I am here to help you with anything you may need in order to give you what ever service is required" And the Sergeant said"Well with all kindest regards Ma'am I think we are fine here. I do have my black privates to consider though". And the Madam stated"Well now, ain't you the fancy one".
- Sarah Phillips daughter of James T Phillps Jr WWII
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What does the navy use powdered soap? Because it takes longer to pick up
- Robert D
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It was around 0800, I came in early and unfortunately had a radio and had it keyed. We just installed Generator on this F-16 and I said "Ya Know I can't wait to get back to the Hanger and buy some butterd toast or some SOS gravy,, When we got there it was on the House ,Loved it.. I need to key another one of those ,,GOD BLESS ALL Vets and now serving....
- Sean-007
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They say if you put a Marine in a round room with a steel ball they will either loose it, break it, or get it pregnant.
- Matthew
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Just because there are no complaints, doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.
- 03dg
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This happened in school Student:air force sucks Me:sure Student:I'm enlisting in the marines...besides what is the point of the air force in mean every branch has air craft of kind Me:yeah but we look good flying Student:like I said useless marines can fight any were Me:yes......so let me know when your ready to leave?
- air force brat
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A Soldier and Marine were arguing about which branch was better. Eventually, the Marine hollers, "Well, the Marine Corps invented sex." The Soldier think for awhile and retaliates with, "That may be true... But we introduced it to women."
- Army_Strong_1776
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I was ellegible for the marines, but my only problem was that my head couldn't fit in the jar
- Scott
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