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MILITARY JOKES
Laugh out loud with these great Military Jokes from service time! Click on the Star to like any jokes you find. If you think you can do better...Share it with everybody!
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MARINES: My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment, Sir!
- -1
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Five NCOs were sitting in the NCO club one day having beers. All were Catholic. The first NCO, a SGM says that my son is a priest. When he walks in a room every one says Hello, father. The second NCO, and E8, says my son in a Bishop. When he walks in a room, everyone says hello your grace. The third NCO, an E7, says my son is a Cardinal. When he walks in a room, everyone says hello your Eminence. The fourth NCO, an E6 says my son in The Pope. When he walks in a room, everyone stands, and says hello your Holy Father. THe fifth NCO, an E5, and a woman had said nothing. The SGM asked her about her children. She replied, I only have one child, and she is 23, with a 40 D bust, 23 waist, and 35 hips. When she walks in a room everyone says OOOOOO MY GOD
- Jackie F NJ USAF 1972-75
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The soldiers were on the mend in the Military Hospital. In comes the WAC with the ½ thick glasses into the tent. All 3 in the tent were gigging until one said to her, Mam, mam, why do you have a thermometer on your ear? She in turn replied, ah crap, one of the A-Holes in the other tent has my pencil!
- bob w
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why cant Marines eat M&M's???
they dont know how to peel them!
- R. Salazar
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The Sergeant at the reception station asks if there are any High School graduates in the group, several men raise their hands. You men stand over here, Then the Sergeant asks if there are any College Graduates, a few more raise their hands. you men stand over there... Then the Sergeant says you men with the College Educations grab the lawn mowers, you men with the High School educations grab the rakes and you men with no education, watch them, you might learn something...
- MIKE SUNDER
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DO YOU KNOW WHAT IS 6 INCHES LONG And 2 INCHES WIDE AND ABSOLUTELY DRIVES WOMEN CRAZY??? ........ PAPER MONEY. C'MON NOW WHAT WERE YOU THINKING???
- PVT R.Pease
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US ARMY Backwards- YES MY RETARDED ASS SIGNED UP !
- Nathan Stump
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Islamic terrorist are like King Salmon.... All is good until the Seals come!
- Bob Pease
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Who loves you most: Lock your wife and your dog in the trunk of your car for a few hours then let them out...........who will be glad to see you?
- anonymous
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MY UNCLE WHO IS RETIRED FROM THE NAVY WENT OUT ON HIS BOAT WITH TWO MEN AND A WOMAN AND CAME BACK WITH CRABS!
- athwps
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What do the guys shout at iraqi strip shows???
come on baby, show us your face
While I have the chance, god bless you all and god bless america, from Tasmania, Australia.
- MIKE
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Iraq and Afghanistan have the same state bird - DUCK!
- Unknown
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2 CAREER SWABBYS WERE SITTING AT THE BAR. ONE OF THEM SAYS LOOK AT THOSE TWO DRUNKS ACROSS THE BAR, THAT COULD BE US IN 10YRS. THE OTHER GUY SAYS YOU ASSHOLE, THATS A MIRROR !
- don butler
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WHO IS IN CHARGE OF THE BODY ??????
BRAIN says I do all the thinking
BLOOD says I nourish the body
STOMACH saysI process all the food to get ready for nourishment
LEGS says I carry everybody everywhere
RECTUM says I do waste removal
allthe others LAUGHED at the RECTUM.
so the RECTUM shut down tight. Pretty soon the:
BRAIN had wicked headaches.
BLOOD got toxic.
LEGS got wobbly.
STOMACH bloated.
MORAL:
OTHERS DO THE WORK and:
THERE IS AN A$$HOLE IN CHARGE...
- DON BUTLER
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A NAVY CAPTAIN AND HIS WIFE DECIDE TO HIT THE SACK.AFTER THEY ARE SETTLED DOWN,HE STARTS RUBBING HER SHOULDER,WAITING FOR A POSITIVE RESPONCE. SHE SAYS N O T TONIGHT HON,I HAVE A GYNO EXAM TOMORROW AND I WANT TO BE F-R-E-S-H.
THE REJECTED HUSBAND TURNS OVER TO GO TO SLEEP. AFTER A FEW MUNUTES HE TURNS BACK OVER AND GIVES HIS WIFE A TAP ON THE SHOULDER AND ASKS BY CHANCE, YOU DONT HAVE A DENTIST APPOINTMENT TOMORROW DO YOU?
- Don Butler
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